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While The Queen’s Away

The Castle Tour – Episode 4

Balmoral Castle

Balmoral, Autumn, 1896 by Joseph Donovan Adam

Balmoral Castle sits just outside the little town of Ballater, the home of the Deeside train station where the royal family, until the 1960s, would arrive by train for their holiday time. The train station sustained serious fire damage and has just completed a £3million restoration project. The museum and shops it houses are scheduled to reopen by late summer. Ballater is a nice little town that is very dog friendly and has lots of small shops and a few good pubs.

Deeside Train Station

Ballater Library

The Balmoral Bar

Dogs are welcomed in all the pubs.

A place to tie your dog if you’d rather.

Golf has always been big in Ballater.

I love this glass.

Balmoral, the Queen’s over 50,000 acre country estate and holiday get-away, is surrounded by some amazing countryside of hills, mountains meadows, moors, valleys and rivers.

The River Dee

The Castle Itself

It really is an estate, in that, it does not meet the criteria previously stated in regards to castles. It’s more a huge house designed to look like a castle. Beyond a tower there are really none of the classic castle defense schemes in place. There are large windows on the ground floor, there are no narrow passageways to dissuade the advance of angry rebels, no uneven stairways to impede armor clad knights, no peep holes, lug holes or murder holes. It is a gentle welcoming place. The SWAT teams could probably just walk in the front door. Even though it is, a sort of, make believe castle, it is beautiful and packed with history. These attractions become somehow obligatory, like the Prime Directive, you’ve come this far you just have to go. To not go would be akin to traveling to Egypt and turning your back on the pyramids. The universe just won’t allow it. If nothing else, you get to breath the same air that the Queen breathes.

And talk about well organized, OMG. Absolutely nothing is left to chance, either in the running of the estate or in the welcoming of visitors. The surrounding forest and countryside is maintained like a huge carefully crafted garden. The forests are constantly culled of older dying trees to make way for new growth. Any spread of disease or infestation is closely monitored and eradicated. The wildlife population is strictly maintained at optimum levels. The appearance of any unwelcome species or predators that may disrupt this perfect balance is, like an invading army, quickly and aggressively dealt with. Wendi was thrilled to discover that the native red squirrels are protected and that the disease carrying grey squirrels have been pushed out.

The Queen’s Mailbox

The movement of visitors through the estate is just as efficient. Parking is off-site, after purchasing tickets at the gate you are offered the choice of a pleasant 15 minute walk through the woods to the visitor center/ cafe/ gift shop/ toilets/ movie presentation/ picture gallery/ historic vehicle garage /stables or you can ride in the small transit vehicle that leaves every 7 minutes, exactly. Once there, you can pick up a free audio guide, in virtually any language, and then you are on your own. You are free to wander well groomed grounds, gorgeous gardens and wondrous woodland paths.

As for the house, well, there will be no traipsing around the halls, bedrooms or kitchens of the inner sanctum, with or without shoes. Access is restricted to the ballroom where a very nice display of historic paintings and photos depict the royal family’s relationship with Balmoral, examples of beautiful Cairngorm crystals unearthed on the estate, some of the jewelry made with it and lots of pictures of the dogs. Unfortunately, absolutely no photos are to be taken in the ballroom, with or without the flash. This is a policy I have never quite understood. What do they imagine people might do with them? Perhaps it’s just a control thing.

The “battlemented” porte cochères, or “carriage porch”, is covered to protect guests from the frequent rain and snow.

The tower and “pepper pot turrets” are characteristic features of the Scottish Baronial style.

Pepper pot turrets

Side Notes:

Queen Victoria purchased the estate in 1852 after the previous owner choked to death on a fishbone.

The highly successful TV series the Crown, as well as, the films The Queen and Mrs. Brown figure events that happened at Balmoral, but none of them included footage actually shoot here.

The Red Squirrel

The Red Squirrel: A future in the forest // A Photo Book @Neil McIntyre

This photo is from a self-published book project by photographer Neil Mcintyre, the proceeds of which will help ensure a future for these amazing creatures in the UK. If you’d like to check out the book and project go to their Kickstarter page: The Red Squirrel – A Photo Book

What The Red Wants, The Red Gets

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The Castle Tour – Episode 3

Motto: “Grace, Me Guide”

Craigievar Castle, a pinkish harled castle named after a nearby hill, is one of the masterworks of Scottish baronial architecture.

The contrast of it’s massive lower story structure topped by the finely sculpted multiple turrets and gargoyles create this classic fairytale appearance. The castle is reputed to have been the inspiration for Walt Disney’s castle motif. The bottom section was built by the Mortimers who ran into financial troubles in 1610 and were forced to sell the lands and unfinished castle to William Forbes, who finished the top section between 1610 and 1626. His descendants occupied the castle until 1963, when it was turned over to the National Trust of Scotland.

Clan Forbes really didn’t make a lot of friends during the 16th century. They blackmailed the citizens of Aberdeen a yearly tun of wine, 252 gallons, for the fishings in the Don. The townspeople were having none of it, so when Arthur Forbes of Brux and his accomplices attacked Aberdeen in July of 1530 the citizens fought back. They brawled in the streets for over 24 hours. Fighting raged furiously throughout Aberdeenshire, and resulted in mutual massacres and murders. Several representatives of Aberdeen lodged a complaint with the King who cautioned the Forbes and their friends to show good behaviour towards the town of Aberdeen. But alas, memories seem to be centuries long here.

“Red” Sir John Forbes

“Red” Sir John Forbes (1636-1703) was reputed to be a tough laird and it was said that what “the Red wanted, the Red got”.

In 1668 he changed the coat of arms from three docile grey bears to three snarling dogs and adopted the new family motto, “Doe not vain sleeping dos.” or “Let sleeping dogs lie”.

The Forbes were staunch Protestants and the Gordons were committed Catholics so they had already been feuding for over 100 years before the Red came on the scene. There had been murders and unspeakable acts of violence on both sides. All of which added credence to a rumor that Red had happened upon a member of the rival Gordon clan bedding his daughter in the Blue Room and a sword fight ensued. Red forced him out the window at sword-point. Gordon fell 66’ to his death. Future generations have covered the window with a large headboard.

People still claim to hear Gordon’s footsteps walking in the Blue Room, re-enacting the moments prior to his death.

It’s a long way down.

Side Note: No pictures inside?? I don’t get it either.

When The Roadshow Comes To Town

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The Castle Tour – Episode 2

Let’s start with a wee gander.

Motto: “Courage Flourishes at a Wound”

Crathes Castle is a 16th century castle near Banchory that sits on land given to the Burnett of Leys family by King Robert the Bruce in 1323. It was held in that family for almost 400 years. Construction of the current tower house of Crathes Castle was begun in 1553.

This is a “harled” castle, which refers to an exterior building-surfacing technique when a pigment is embedded in the harled material, thus alleviating the need for repainting and results in a long-lasting weatherproof shield for a stone building.

The original timbered ceilings have all been restored.

The Laid’s Bedchamber

The Muses’ Room

The Scottish Renaissance painted ceiling in the Muses’ Room is truly amazing. Katherine Burnett’s coat of arms in the center of the ceiling indicates that is was Lady Katherine’s work room. The seven virtues would be better known today as the seven deadly sins.

Your Day In Court

The Court

The Laird, who had the power of “the Pit and the Gallows”, sat at this table with his scribe to his left. Prisoners were led in through a steel door hidden in the alcove on the far right. The accused would stand in front of the desk directly under the Coat of Arms which compelled them to speak nothing but the truth, although it was indicated to me that when you got this far your fate was pretty much sealed. After the verdict was read you were lead to either the pit, the dungeon, or to the gallows.

Grounds & Gardens

The grounds are truly amazing. A small army of committed gardeners work year round maintaining the separate walled gardens. Ancient topiary hedges of Irish yew, that date from 1702, are used to define the eight themed areas.

Scottish Humor

The guide in the Laid’s bedchamber showed us a small cupboard that served as the toilet. Of course, with no running water, it was essentially a bucket on the floor. He asked if there were any Englishmen present. A young couple proudly said yes and then the guide explained that the English had invented the toilet seat, but the Scots had improved it. “Aye, we put a hole in the top”.

Have A Mint

Rohays Burnett

In the 1960’s Rohays Burnett was paid £1000 to appear in an ad for After Eight chocolate mints. The photograph was taken at Crathes Castle. The finished ad appeared in Reader’s Digest with the tagline “No girl should resist temptation”. The advertisement was pulled when the headmistress of one of the country’s leading private girl’s schools complained that the ad was a bad influence on her girls and completely inappropriate coming from Rowntrees, a Quaker company.

Antique Roadshow Comes To Town

We made it to Crathes Castle just in time to take part in the Antique Roadshow. We feel very fortunate as this was the only show in Scotland this year. There were a lot of people but it never felt overcrowded.

Wendi’s finally at the front of the line.

Fiona Bruce looks on.

The appraisers couldn’t have been nicer and never rushed people along. If they come to your neighborhood be sure to go.

Side Note:

Wendi attempted to Photo Bomb the filming crew every chance she got, so when this episode airs be sure to watch for her 5 seconds of fame.

Wendi is ready.

In the Land of Lairds & Lords

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The Castle Tour – Episode 1

We thought it would be fun to see some castles in Scotland only to discover that this place is littered with them. Depending on how you define a castle, estimates can range in the thousands. According to self-styled Castle Hunter David Weinczok, it has to be able to defend itself, “Would a SWAT team have a hard time getting in?” For us it’s much simpler, they only have to meet two criteria, they have to look really cool and, most importantly, have furniture. That’s right furniture.

We have no interest in rubble. I’m certain some of you history buffs are aghast and that there are amazing stories about the people and events that occurred in some of these ruins, but we just don’t have the time and, lets be honest here, visually, a pile of rocks is, well, a pile of rocks.

So let’s take a look at a few places that you can still throw a coat of paint on.

Motto: “All My Hope Is In God”

Construction of the elaborate, five-story Z-plan castle was begun in 1575 by Michael Fraser, the 6th Laird of Fraser, and was completed in 1636.

The castle was passed down through the Lords Fraser and then to the Mackenzie family who took the name Mackenzie Fraser. In 1897 the last male Fraser of the direct line, Frederick Mackenzie Fraser, died childless.

In 1921 his widow, Theodora, sold the castle due to the lack of a suitable heir and mounting financial difficulties.

The Dining Room table could be configured to accommodate most any number of guests.

Some of the last 16th century Jacobean carved woodwork in the country.

Through this cupboard is a grating that lets you listen to conversations in the Great Hall below. It’s called the Laird’s Lug(Ear).

This little hole let the Laird keep an eye on activities in the Great Room below.

The Peacock Room

The wallpaper in the Peacock Parlour is a rare survivor of the 19th century. Pineapples were considered hugely prestigious then.

Hot water was carried up three stories to fill this Oxford Tub. You were turned towards the fire with your feet hanging out.

The concept of the Frog Mug is that the surprise of seeing a frog at the bottom of your beer will cure what ails you.

Called the rich man’s disease, gout was caused by excessive meat, sugar and alcohol consumption.
These stools are for gentlemen to rest their swollen feet on.

Hunting was a huge activity. It seems they displayed and stuffed everything.

Even the dogs.

The View From Above

The key to any defense is seeing all around so nobody can sneak up on you. You need a good tower with a great view.

Tower Turret

Ghost Stories

One of the most haunted castles in Scotland, Fraser Castle is home to the ghost of a princess who was brutally murdered while asleep in the ‘Green Room’.

The Green Room

Her body was dragged down the stone stairs, leaving a trail of blood stains. Legend has it that as hard as the housekeepers tried, they could not scrub out the stains, and were forced to cover the steps in wood panelling, which remains today. She is said to still stalk the halls of the castle during the night. Over the years many residents have reported seeing her ghost throughout the castle.

Lady Drummond

Lady Marie Augusta Gabrielle Berenere Blanche Drummond, Frederick MacKenzie Fraser’s first wife, died of consumption in 1873. Sadly this marriage was not blessed with children and, apparently, her apparition has joined the murdered princess. Witnesses have seen the dear departed Lady Drummond in a long black gown stalking the staircases and castle grounds. Visitors and staff have also heard ghostly piano music, whispers in the empty hall and the sound of children laughing and singing, only to find that there were no children at the castle.

Side Notes

Some scenes in the 2006 film The Queen, starring Dame Helen Mirren, featured Castle Fraser as a backdrop.

For you fans of the Outlander series I should note that, although the gift shop is loaded with Outlander collectibles, none of the Tour Guides ever mentioned Jamie or Claire.

A Bonnie Wee Place

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We visited Edinburgh 20 years ago and a lot has changed since then. There seems to be construction projects everywhere and yet it’s core appears relatively in tact with the exception of a hoard of new tourists from every corner of the globe.. During our first visit, traveling in Europe was still pretty much the purview of Americans, Canadians, Australians and other Europeans with just a smattering of folks from more distant locales. Now, in the new global economy, everyone has hit the road. Asians, Africans, Middle Easterners and South Americans all fill the streets to catch a glimpse of Europe’s cultural past. Crowded as it may be, this is still a wonderful city with much to see and do.

Dr. Thomas Chalmers Looks Towards Edinburgh Castle – New Town

Sir Walter Scott Monument – New Town

George IV Statue – New Town

The cultural center of the city is divided into two distinct areas, the Old Town which sits upon Castle Rock and the New Town in the valley directly below. Prior to the mid 1700s, Edinburgh was probably not a place anybody from the 21st century would want to visit. It consisted of a long market street, now the Royal Mile, stretching along the spine of the rock up to the castle at the top.

The Royal Mile – Old Town

Old Town

The Royal Mile – Old Town

Old Town

The Scotsman – North Bridge – Old Town

The narrow side alleys or closes ran perpendicular to the main street and snaked through the tall tenement buildings to the valley below. The buildings facing the market street were filled cheek to jowl with rich and poor alike. With absolutely no sanitation, sewage ran freely down the closes and culminated in a stagnant pond, i.e. cesspool, at the bottom of the hill. The city was a nasty and often dangerous place, filled with disease and rats. The slums were considered the worst in Europe and it is said that you could smell them from 12 miles away.

Advocates Close – Old Town

Old Town

Roxburgh’s Close – Old Town

Gladstone House – Old Town – Scottish National Trust

Riddle’s Close – Old Town

Riddle’s Court – Old Town

Wardroom’s Court – Old Town

This all changed in 1776 when a young architect named Jame Craig was selected to design a New Town in the area to the Northland below the old city. Over the next two decades the new grid layout filled with Georgian townhouses for the rich and fashionable and gave Edinburgh a whole new start, allowing it to be dubbed “the Athens of the North”.

The Albert Memorial in Charlotte Square – New Town

Georgian Townhouses

Georgian Townhouse

The Georgian House – Scottish National Trust

Over the past few years Wendi and I have been fortunate enough to see some great art in some of Europe’s most outstanding museums. Edinburgh, like all great European capitals, has it’s share. We have been to the Scottish National Gallery and the Scottish National Portrait Gallery this week and they are both amazing buildings filled with stunning works of art.

Scottish National Gallery

The view from Scottish National Gallery

Scottish National Gallery

Robert Burns at the National Portrait Gallery

Although I am consistently moved and inspired by so much of the art, the things that I have find most compelling and captivating are the amazing stories of the creators and the subjects they have chosen to depict.

Aye, so you think you love your wee doggie do you.

“Callum” – John Emms – 1895

Meet Callum, an adorable little Dandie Dismount terrier who was owned by James Cowan Smith. The Honorable Mr. Smith commissioned English artist John Emms to paint his beloved dog in 1895. In 1919 the Smith estate bequeathed £55,000 to the Gallery. This was an astronomical sum at the time, a legacy that allowed the purchase of John Constable’s Dedham Vale, Singer Sargent’s Lady Agnew and Goya’s El Medico. There was only one condition, the Gallery had to agree to permanently display Emm’s portrait of Callum. A promise it has keep for almost 100 years.

“Lady Agnew of Lochnaw” – John Singer Sargent – 1892

The American painter John Singer Sargent spent the vast majority of his life living and working in Europe and became hugely successful in his lifetime. After securing a commission through negotiations which he carried out personally, Sargent would visit the client’s home to see where the painting was to hang and would often review a client’s wardrobe to pick suitable attire. He often worked in his studio, which was well-stocked with furniture and background materials he chose for proper effect. He had no assistants and handled all the tasks, such as preparing his canvases, varnishing the painting, arranging for photography, shipping, and documentation himself. He commanded about $5,000 per portrait, or about $130,000 in current dollars. Some American clients traveled to London, at their own expense, to have Sargent paint their portrait. It all sounds good but the road was not without it’s bumps. When his most controversial work, Portrait of Madame X, now considered one of his best, was unveiled in Paris at the 1884 Salon, it aroused such a negative reaction that it is thought to have prompted Sargent’s move to London. Strange, given that the English critics were particularly harsh to him, calling his technique “Frenchified” with “no taste in expression, air, or modeling.” But all scandal disappeared in 1893 when this painting, the Lady Agnew, was exhibited at the Royal Academy. It’s critical success allowed Sargent to average as many as fourteen portrait commissions per year during the 1890s. If my math serves me right that’s a couple million a year. Not bad for a boy with almost no formal education other then a constant diet of museums and an odd assortment of art tudors.

“Winter Day, Finzean” – Joseph Farquharson – 1901

Besides being the Laird of Finzean in Aberdeenshire, Joseph Farquharson was a successful professional painter. He built a movable hut on wheels with allowed him to set up throughout his beautiful wooded estate and capture, en plein-air, the snowy landscapes that made him famous. Unlike this painting, much of his work contained the sheep that populated the estate, which prompted the nickname, “Frozen Mutton Farquharson”.

“The Comforts of Industry” – George Morland – 1780s

“The Miseries of Idleness” – George Morland – 1780s

Clearly English painter George Moreland knows his subject matter. By way of comparison, these two companion pieces illustrate the benefits of an orderly and industrious life as opposed to the shortcomings of a drunken and slovenly life. Ironically Moreland died bankrupted of alcoholism at the relatively young age of 41.

“Portrait of Sarah Malcolm” – William Hogarth – 1733

I guess you’d have to call this painting a spec job because I’m certain that Sarah didn’t commission it. She is shown here in her cell at Newgate Prison just two days before her execution for the murder of her mistress Lydia Buncombe and two fellow servants. Celebrated writer and collector Horace Walpole purchased the painting from the artist.

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think” – Horace Walpole

“The Three Legends of St. Nicholas” – Gerard David – 1500-20

We investigated the life and legends surrounding St. Nicholas while in Holland last December for the Sinterclaus celebration. This is the first artwork we’ve seen depicting the original Santa Claus’ legend and miracles. In the left panel the future Saint stands in a wash basin thanking God for his birth, certainly an early achiever. In the center panel he saves three impoverished girls from a life of prostitution by financing their dowries, something that he is reputed to have done throughout his life. By the third panel it all goes a little dodgy. He is said to have brought the three young boys back to life after they had been murdered and salted down for meat during a famine. Sure, that could happen.

“Landscape with Huntsmen and Dead Game (Allegory of the Sense of Smell)” – Jan Weenix – 1697

This one of a series of five large paintings depicting the five senses. It was purchased in the 1920s by American Press Magnate, William Randolph Hearst, who sold it to RKO Pictures. They, in turn, sold it to Paramount Studios who used it as a backdrop in a Bob Hope movie in 1946.

“A School for Boys and Girls“ – Jan Steen – 1670

This painting is not just some light-hearted view of a classroom out of control. It is meant to demonstrate the evils of inattentiveness in a school without discipline. There are many clues hidden in the picture but the most telling is a child offering a pair of glasses to an owl next to a lantern with illustrates an old Dutch proverb, “What use are glasses or light if the owl does not want to see?”

“A School for Boys and Girls“ – Detail

“The Murder of David Rizzio” – Sir William Allan – 1833

By 1566 members of Mary, Queen of Scots court felt that the young Queen was far too influenced by her private secretary, the Italian musician David Rizzio, and murdered him, as she watched, in an apartment at Hollyroodhouse in Edinburgh. During 1817 Sir Walter Scott asked Allan to illustrate major themes from Scottish history and the two visited the apartment which was already a major tourist attraction.

“The Murder of David Rizzio” – Detail

Got to get gaun, we be having a bevvy the nite.

A Castle in the Woods

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Kasteel Museum Sypesteyn

Henri Van Sypesteyn

This apparently medieval castle is the result of a young nobleman’s dream to establish a lasting monument to his family name. Jonkheer Catharinus Henri Cornelis Ascanius van Sypesteyn believed that his ancestral seat had stood on this spot and in 1899 purchased the site and began building a castle to honor his family and house his impressive art and antiquity collections. Sypesteyn is Holland’s youngest castle.

Henri was one of the founders of a genealogical group that traced Dutch royal lineage and has traced his family back to the infamous De Witt Brothers, Johan & Cornelius.

De Witt Brothers

Johan de Witt

When Mrs. de Witt gave birth to her boys in the early 1600s she had no idea how high they would rise or how spectacularly they would fall. Johan ruled Holland for over 20 years opposed to the House of Orange-Nassau, while Cornelius became a powerful Naval officer under Admiral De Ruyter. The brothers became objects of suspicion and hatred thinking them responsible for numerous defeats in 1672, what the Dutch call Rampjaar or the “Year of Disaster”, when the country was surrounded by enemies. Johan was knifed by a would be assassin on June 21st and returned to the Hague, where his brother Cornelis was being held on made up charges of treason.

Cornelius de Witt

After being tortured Cornelis still refused to confess and was sentenced to exile. Johan walked to the jail to see his brother off when both men were attacked by some of members of the Hague’s civic militia. The brothers were shot and then left to the mob. Their naked, mutilated bodies were strung up on the nearby public gibbet, while the Orangist mob ate their roasted livers in a cannibalistic frenzy. Despite the horrific scene the mob stayed remarkably disciplined, leaving many to wonder if the event had been planned.

William of Orange removed a federal cavalry detachment, that might have stopped the lynching and refused to prosecute well-known ringleaders like Cornelis Tromp further adding to the suspicion.

Cornelis Tromp

Cornelis Tromp

At home, without fighting to distract him, Cornelis grew bored and became a heavy drinker, so much so that many inns at the time were named after him. Tromp was an extremely vain man who never hesitated to tell others how important he was. During his life he posed for at least 22 paintings, a record for the 17th century. His family were some of the most fanatical supporters of Orange. Tromp came to regret many of his deeds. He died a troubled drunk, convinced he would go to hell as punishment for his crimes.

His art possessions were displayed in his estate, Trompenburgh, built in the form of a warship.

Trompenburgh

Finally, a little folklore.

Our trusty museum guide explained that this dish depicts what he called a miracle. Apparently a farmer was attacked by a bull. When the farmer’s pregnant wife ran out to assist she was gored by the bull. As she was catapulted into the air the baby was ejected from her torn midsection and landed bruised, but alive on the ground and was quickly retrieved by the neighbor. The parents both died, the baby lived about 9 months and the distraught villagers put down the bull. The End.

Now the tour guide spoke very little English and I speak no Dutch what-so-ever, so something may have been lost in translation, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out the moral of this gruesome tale. Even the most fanciful or ridiculous of miracles generally have a point or a message or end on a somewhat positive note. I’m completely lost here. What is the point? Never go near bulls with pregnant women????

Get Closer. Really Close.

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Spent a lovely sunny day in on the riverfront in Rotterdam.

Rotterdam, NL

The city appears to be booming. Everywhere you glance there seems to be a new steel and glass tower sprouting out of the ground and mixing with the older buildings that survived the devastation of WWII. Most everything around appears to be prospering.

Foreground- The New York Hotel

Nederlands/Fotomuseum

Our main purpose here is a visit to the Nederlands/Fotomuseum to see Martin Schoeller’s “Big Heads” show.

When asked how to take better pictures, renowned photojournalist Robert Capra said, “If your pictures aren’t good enough, your not close enough.” Well, Martin Schoeller definitely gets close enough.

The “Big Head’s” Show by Martin Schoeller

This is the New York based German photographer’s first show in the Netherlands and the images are truly mind-blowing. The show is broken into five groups, transgender, female body builders, twins, cultural personalities and everything else. Most of the images stem from Schoeller’s Close Up series, which he has been working on for over 20 years.

“Christopher Walken” by Martin Schoeller

“Eastwood” & “Nicholson” by Martin Schoeller

“Big Head’s” by Martin Schoeller

“Twins” by Martin Schoeller

“Bono” by Martin Schoeller

“George Clooney” by Martin Schoeller

Some will make you proud.

Some will make you sad.

Some will make you wonder.

“Dolly Parton” & “Rihanna” by Martin Schoeller

The sheer size of these extreme closeups is jaw dropping. It’s a bit like looking at everyone in a makeup mirror, very intimate and kind of scary. You are struck by the courage of the subjects who have to know that this is not going to be flattering. Especially movie personalities who must spend their entire adult lives scrutinizing every pore on their faces. You discover quickly that staring this closely at people is a lot like unretouched nudes of “normal” people, in that, there is really only a handful of adults on the planet that don’t look a little funny with their clothes off, intriguing, sure, titillating, you bet, but also a little peculiar and definitely unique. But just like nudes, these images allow us to cross the line from public into private as we are offered the most intimate view they could give us without taking off a stitch of clothes.

The Museum set up a photo booth and we were encouraged to have our picture taken. Bear in mind this was before we saw the show so we really had no idea just how bad this could turn out. Click on the thumbnail if you dare.

Wendi insisted that I retouch it to all the lines and blemishes.

As a side note, only two images were labeled NFS, Julia Roberts and Taylor Swift, which were arguably the two most attractive images in the whole show. Hum.

Social Media For Pedestrians

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Hello again. We are finally back on the road where we feel most comfortable. This year we are lucky enough to start our trip with good friends in Haarlem, NL.

This is a lovely, picturesque city as you can plainly see.

Grote Market

Molen de Adriaan

Grote Market

But that’s not really what I want to talk about. I’ve noticed a rapidly increasing number of, let’s just call them, “Window Creatures”.

Bernie

I found the Bernie and the Cabbage Patch Kids peeking at me from a couple windows in Portland, Ore.

Cabbage Patch Kids

Because they’re cultural icons I didn’t think much of it until I got to Haarlem, NL. and noticed that there are Window Creatures peering out at the street everywhere I walk. I quickly realized this is not just about our political favorites or some nostalgia for childhood toys. The people that lodge behind this panes of glass are sending messages. I’ve always thought that what people chose to display says a lot about them.

Bear in mind that these miniature tableaus did not occur by accident. They represent a conscious effort to put a message in a bottle and send it out into the world, but with no request for rescue or any response at all. It is a kind of lo-tech social media that requires no Likes, Thumbs Up, emojis, bookmarks or cookies. This is strictly a one way communication, a lot like a piece of art that says, “ I think this is “something” and I want everyone to know. At least everybody that walks by my window.”

The Queen and her getaway car.

Does anyone know who this is?

Well, I’ve decoded all the signs and I’m now ready to reveal my findings.

” We’re all just a little wacky and want everyone to know.”

Out of Time

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Our Route

I’ve gotten a lot of inquire about where we’ve been. This map may help. I think I’ve got it right. The Red Line is for cars and the Blue Line is for trains. Most were round trips, at least.

There were quite a few narrative threads I had hoped to follow but I have quite literally run out of time. I decided the best way to finish this voyage was to just show you some of my favorites and hope for the best.

Amsterdam, NL

Cologne Cathedral Cologne, Germany

Aachen Christmas Market Aachen, Germany

Aachen Cathedral Aachen, Germany

Cologne Christmas Market Cologne, Germany

Amsterdam, NL

Monchau, Germany

Our good buddy Sabine at Museum Ludwig Cologne, Germany

Monchau, Germany

Rotterdam, NL

Monchau Christmas Market Monchau, Germany

Liege Christmas Market, Liege, Belgium

Amsterdam,NL

Maastricht Central Station Maastricht, NL

The Afsluitdijk is a remarkable structure that has been protecting Holland from the sea for over 80 years. Built between 1927 and 1932 with over 5,000 workers, it is now an icon of the Netherlands’ constant struggle against water. In typical Dutch style solving all problems requires a creative approach. The 23 km long road that stretches across the dyke requires lighting, but not wanting to add to “light pollution” highly reflective surfaces that are activated by car lights and go dark after you pass have been added to the vertical structures.

Afsluitdijk

Maastricht Christmas Market Maastricht, NL

Maastricht, NL

Helpoort ca.1229 Maastricht, NL

Maastricht, NL

Maastricht Christmas Market Maastricht, NL

Valkenburg Caves Christmas Market Valkenburg, NL

Maastricht Christmas Market Maastricht, NL

The Grand Hall – The Hermitage Amsterdam, NL

Asian Tourists at the Cologne Cathedral Cologne, Germany

The Nights Watch at the Rijksmuseum Amsterdam, NL

Have fun out there.

The Wendi Files – Pet Peeves and Favorite Things

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There are certain experiences in life that no matter how much we desire and long for them they still invariably come up a little short. There is one such experience for Wendi that happens much too infrequently and when it does it’s so small that it leaves her craving more. If you haven’t guessed yet, it’s Ice Cubes. For some reason Europeans seem to have a bad attitude about these frozen little wonders that add so much joy to Wendi’s beverage experiences. If the given establishment even has them at all, which they frequently do not, they are parsed out as if they were recently unearthed hidden treasures. She is yet to see someone actually fill a glass with ice cubes. Wendi finds this particularly unnerving in that they still advertise the drink as “iced tea”. You see “iced” is the operative word here, it brings to mind a frosty glass filled to the brim with a “cold” thirst quenching beverage, not a warm glass half full with weak, cloudy and tepid green tea. Now I know you’re thinking that in a larger context this is a very minor annoyance, just a small bump in the road of life, but then you don’t travel with Wendi.